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Third trimester

I’ll be 28 weeks on Sunday, and as some books/websites say 27 weeks is the start of the third trimester, and others say its 28 weeks I’m officially declaring myself as Third Trimester since I’m in the middle of the 2! It does seem a bit weird to me that there is this confusion as to when it starts. I asked my midwife (I say my midwife – I haven’t actually seen the same one twice yet in 5 appointments) at my last appointment, thinking that surely the NHS would have picked a week to go with, but she didn’t know.

Let’s just give that a minute to sink in.

The MIDWIFE couldn’t tell me the most basic information about being pregnant. She didn’t even say “hmm there’s a bit of debate as to whether its 27 or 28 weeks” she just looked at me blank-faced and said “ohhh hmmm when is that….hmm I’m not actually sure…..hmm I guess just take 40 weeks and divide it by 3”. Yeah, thanks lady.

So, what does the third trimester bring? Well, so far I haven’t had any extra hideous symptoms that can go with ‘phase 3’, but since I’m half-in-half-out I’m sure there’s some treats to come. Not that I’ll really give a shit if there are….I still can’t get my head around people that moan about this. It’s bloody marvellous and quite frankly a miracle and I count my lucky stars every day.

Mostly the third trimester has brought realisation, and then fear that:  a) I am properly pregnant and it’s here to stay, b) there will, in the rather near future be a baby and c) that I’m going to have to push that baby out my veejay. And that’s pretty terrifying!

I’m starting to have to think about my ‘birth plan’ and basically I have 2 choices – I either go to the Dr led hospitaly, no frills but drugs on tap place or I go to the midwife led, birthing pools and whale music but no drugs place. Personally I’m not sure why the hell I can’t have birthing pools, whale music with a doctor and some drugs on the side but apparently I can’t. It’s one or the other. But since the midwife can’t tell me when the freakin third trimester starts I’m thinking probably not the best thing to trust these people to deal with the whole thing on their own.

Also, having spoken to a few people who have given birth in the last few weeks they all say the same – take the drugs, for God’s sake take the drugs!!

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26 thoughts on “Third trimester

  1. I was lucky because my local birthing centre was in a hospital so I knew I could go for the birthing centre birth but if anything went wrong they could just wheel me across the corridor.

    Have you had any antenatal classes? They went through a list of all drugs and what they do to you and baby. What you decide is entirely your choice but do your research first so you know what you want to aim for. I personally wanted a drug free birth because I wanted to breastfeed and most drugs will affect baby in some way which might make them tired and not want to even try and latch initially. Even, eg, pethidine only stays in their system for 4 house but can have effects for up to 48 hours post birth.

    I did it with gas and air and it’s not easy but it’s a very personal thing and it also depends on what is happening. I know a lot of people who’s baby went back to back and they begged for some kind of drug because it hurt so much.

    Practise your breathing and make sure hubby knows what is coming. Write in your birth plan how you would like to give birth and how far you would like to go and tell hubby so he can help you make decisions on the day. What will happen will happen so my biggest vit of advice is do your research and just GO WITH IT. It’s worth it. xxx

  2. I think there might be a market for that kind of birthing clinic! You should totally head that up! Congrats on hitting the 3rd trimester. Two down and one to go!

  3. I would have to agree… Take the drugs! Mainly because you have no idea how long you will be in labor. Also, the pushing was probably the hardest part- not because of the pain- it up honestly felt better to push because you didn’t feel the 6-8 lb between your legs… But because you have no idea how hard you have to push. And because I didn’t really have a super awful labor, I would honestly do it all over again. It’s not as scary as you think; I pinky swear!

  4. yay to the third! my hospital had a pool and a cd player for you to provide your own whale music. i had romantic ideas about the pool but after three days of induction I was too tired to focus through the pain and started to lose it. That epidural saved me when the pitocin kicked in. I’d say try and keep your options open….the best laid plans of mice and (wo)men and all that. check for sure your hospital has no pool xxx

  5. Last night I was already in bed so could only reply on twitter, but I want to write a proper entry reply here as well now regarding birthing plan, or birth place or “take the drugs!”

    I believe that how and where to give birth is and should be every ones personal choice – and IF there is a need for medical attention (breech/emergency c-section/preemie etc) then there is no discussion about a hospital being the exact place where one needs to be. Aside from that, I just want to leave a few thoughts here that I had when thinking about how&where to give birth. (Keep in mind, I live in Germany, and I don’t know how different maternity wards or brithing centers are from the UK, but I think the general thoughts are the same)

    I personally decided to give birth in a birthing center (with no doctors, no drugs, only midwives) very early on because I felt really strong about wanting to be in controle over my body and the situation (as much as you can be, during labour your body takes over and functions almost on it’s on if one lets that happen and isn’t interfering with too much medicine). Maybe it is because we couldn’t be “in controle” of getting pregnant, we needed the hlep of REs and IVF/FET and I felt so passive during treatment because all I could do was lay there and have THEM tranfer it to me. Since you are ‘not so new to IVF’ 😉 I think you might understand how I mean that. I said to myself: “If nothing happens that calls for me having to be in hospital (emergency situations) I want to be the one calling the shots and having controle”. It helped hugely that the midwives working at my birthing center of choice gave me the feeling of being there only for me at appointments during pregnancy. They must have had stress of course but when they were in a room with me to talk or examine my bump I felt like I had 200% of their attention. This sound very different from the midwife experience you talk about in your entry, and I feel really really sorry that you don’t have a better midwife that you could maybe see as a fitting birthing-partner/supporter. It is totally understandable that one is put off with such a useless-seeiming midwife.

    About the drug aspect. Again, I don’t judge anyone for their own choice and would never try to talk them out of it if they made up their mind. I feel that is not my place, nobody’s really just as I feel it isn’t the place for people or especially doctors to tell women they need the drugs and everything would be so so much better with them. Giving birth is connected to some pain obviously, but unless you are ina c-section I think no drugs would cause the pain to be totally obsolete. I personally think inducing drugs (like pitocin) and an epidural are counterproductive of each other. One is supposed to make your body speed up labour and the other is supposed to numb/relax everything. In my opinion all that results in maybe a few minutes of not feeling pain but a lot more stress for the body and thus also for the baby as a part of your body still. Other drugs like pethidine and other opiates…well, they are opiates….and when I thought about it solely for MY situation I felt like: I didn’t smoke, didn’t drink & kept everything as healthy as possible throughout this whole pregnancy – not gonna start with the drugs now at the very end – AGAIN that was MY thinking for MY situation (don’t want any reader to jump my back or something because their choice is their choice and my choice is my choice).

    And as a last thought (I know this comment has gotten ridiculously long, >.< sorry) I did not want to get a a drain tube/ iv drip thingy put into my arm/wrist as soon as I step onto maternity ward for a "just in case" situation as they do it generally here in germany (easier to sway women during labour into taking all sorts of drugs). Just like the doctors tried to push me into getting induced (we here in hospital would induce at 7 days past EDD the latest *with a tone in their voice as if I'd kill my baby when not following*)…In the end, my healthy and smiley little Snowflake was born 11 days past EDD and I had enough amniotic fluid left, giving birth in a mediterranian designed room at the birthing center (pool in room) just supported by my midwife no string attached on my body no cannules, no drugs only my body working with me and baby through this. When it came to pressing I was of course somewhat exhausted but right then felt a power rush through me like I could move mountains. The natural oxytocin must have kicked in and the labour pain was almost numbed by that (I can't really explain it as it suprised me as well, nothing like I ever felt or did before).

    I wrote all that not to persuade you into anything regarding YOU CHOICE of birth & birth place, but just to tell you about my experience so you can put that in the drawer of your mind with the other experiences you heard lately (talking to women about giving birth that you stated in your entry) – nothing more, nothing less 🙂 I agree with that very first comment here under your entry – in the end, you decide and it's best to go with your inner feeling so YOU can be as comfortable as possible with your choice and everthing will be alright (^_^)

    • I forgot to mention, that several years ago (when I didn’t even have children in mind) I watched a documentary called “The Business of Being born” (trailer: http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/) – I admit it stayed with me in my mind, even to this day and I’m glad I watched it with all the information, before making my choice of how/where to give birth..

    • Thank you sweetie, I’m still feeling very open minded despite my joking around! I would like to do it without drugs if possible but I am quite scared about having no doctors. ..a lot of the stuff about natural birth I’ve read talks about trusting your body and I guess that’s the problem. …I don’t. My body doesn’t have a great track record of knowing what to do! I’ll keep thinking on it xx

      • I can totally understand that feeling of not being able to trust your body. I actualy talked with DH about that very same feeling during pregnancy and wondered: “Can I really do it?? My body has fooled and failed me quite a lot in the past, so I’m not sure”. During that time DH (and the calming & very educated midwives) managed to install a new spark of trust in me regarding my body. To be honest, I still had slight trust-doubts until a few days before giving birth….So I can see where you are coming from. Having experienced giving birth like I did really opened a new perspective on how I see my body – not so much that I 100% trust it and forget all the “fail times”, but seeing how I can “work” with it despite all that.

        Keeping an open mind is really good, and I’m sure when the day comes, you will make the right decision for yourself, and when you hold your little ones in your arms for the first time it will surely be one of the most special moments, regardless of what or how the circumstances are (^_^) xx

  6. Thankfully, where I live, I have an option to have a midwife in a hospital birthing room…with an OB on call to step in if needed. That is what I plan to do, since I adore my midwife. 🙂

    In the midwife’s defense, people in the pregnancy world don’t really measure pregnancy in trimesters. If you think about it, dividing it up like that is kind of a pregnant person thing. They measure things differently, on a weekly basis. There is no “you get this done in the second trimester, you get this done in the third trimester.” NT scans, done between 10-12w. Anatomy scan, done between 18-20w. Viability is 24w. Full term is 36w. You don’t see any trimesters in there, just weeks. I don’t think what trimester you’re in matters, which is why she may not know. Look it up online, there is no definitive answer. It all depends on how you look at pregnancy as a whole and, to be honest, is kind of a stupid way to measure things? 🙂

    Also, the drug thing…I can’t comment on that. Personally, I think that is very much a “you” decision. I am going to try and do drug-free because I want to have a faster labor, I want to be lucid and able to breastfeed right away after he’s born, and…well, like someone said further up, I want to be in control of things for once. But that’s my choice. So I ignore the 99% of people who tell me “not to be a hero” and to “take the drugs” because it’s MY choice. I’m also not going to feel bad about myself if I decide the pain is too much and decide to get an epidural, because it is MY choice! Do your own research and make a decision on your own! Or don’t research and just decide whatever way you wanna go. Like I said, your choice. No one should judge you for what you choose. 🙂 You will certainly get no judgement here! ❤

    Congrats on 28w!

  7. i am loving this post.

    I found they never knew when any of the trimesters started (apart from the first!!) anyways this is wonderful.

    I was signed up for the midwife only led unit but after 5 days of no sleep I needed the drugs!!!! You wouldn’t have teeth removed without pain relief, ha ha!!

    Lots of luck xx

  8. So so exciting that you are in third trimester!! I agree, go for the drugs!! I already had to chose birth plan: I’ll have sophrology but also drugs 😉
    hope your third trimester goes smoothly and that you won’t be too tired. xx

  9. hi! i have been following your blog for quite some time. i took some time off from reading, as i was dealing with some struggles of my own as a gestational carrier. i finally logged back in to WP to update my blogs and decided to randomly check in to see how things were going for you. after spending a bit of the weekend reading, i am SO, SOO thrilled for you! such a success story altogether. and you are so awesome to have stuck through it all up until this point. you’re a trooper. hoorah! i’ll continue to read but wanted to wish you all the best in this endeavor! ♥

  10. Can I love this post 1000x!!!! OMG!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been away for a bit but so happy to see your preggo 🙂

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