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Lady in Waiting

Well, here I am about half way through my 2ww. So far I’ve been pretty ok. The odd wobbly moment, one round of Christmas-advert-induced-sobbing but mostly ok. Definitely better than the first time I did this. Somehow having less hope has made it easier I think. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not without hope – I have been stupid enough to let my mind wander into how I’d tell family and friends if it was positive (why does my brain always do this?) but I’ve also had many daydreams about all the alcohol I’m going to drink at Christmas!

I think a big part of the reason I’ve not been too bad is I’ve been obsessively watching TheTudors whilst I sew a tapestry cushion cover thing! I’m literally a Lady in Waiting. It’s weird, it’s like I go into a zone when I’m sewing and watching where I don’t think about anything else. I had all sorts of other things planned for this 2ww and I’ve done none of them. I just sew and watch, watch and sew like I’m in a trance.

I’m hoping this almost-lack-of-crazy (although reading the paragraph above, maybe not such a lack of crazy) will continue for the remaining 6 days I have to wait. I could test before my OTD but I’m not going to. Although it is really tough living with the unknown, anxiety ridden world of the 2ww it’s preferable to the crushing sadness I felt after my last BFN. So for now I’ll just keep the dream alive until Saturday.

PS someone found my blog by goggling ‘got drunk during IVF’…oh dear, think I talk about alcohol too much!

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26 thoughts on “Lady in Waiting

  1. Yes! The Tudors is what every IVFer should be watching on their 2WW. How much have you watched? Henry Cavill peaks in hotness in Season 3 I think. He was hot in Season 2 though as well. And 1. And 4. I am sending you all my best sticky vibes… Come on embies!!

  2. I kind of know what you mean by being more okay because you have less hope. It does make things seem easier. And guess what? Having more or less hope is actually not going to change the outcome. I am really rooting for you here! I hope that those embies are very comfortably tucked in your uterus. Hope the next few days go by quickly without any crazy.

  3. Oooh the Tudors!!! I’ve Watch it twice and going through it again 😉 Hummmm Henry Cavill… yummy. Prefer him in this serie, think he’s too bulk up in Man of steel

  4. I watched an entire series of The Killing during our 2WW, in one weekend. I felt sick after. Wishing you lots of luck – I agree with Isabelle above nothing we say or do can change the outcome so you may as well enjoy being PUPO!!

  5. The Tudors does not dissapoint. When you have done that move on to Rome, if you haven’t seen it. Just as much Tn’A but I swear to god I have friends who conceived their first child after watching it. No joke!
    I totally get the feeling of less hope, I am living that everyday. Sending you the most positive vibes and strength right now. So all you need to do is rest up, be good to yourself and watch some damn good television. Huge hug. xxx

  6. Got drunk during IVF?? Bahaha! I wish I had enough money to just throw away a cycle because I felt like a Jack Daniels and coke. The Tudors is an excellent distraction. I rewatched American Horror Story: Asylum during my last cycle. It’s the only cycle where my nightmares have consisted of serial killers and insane asylums instead of positive pregnancy tests and my future children haha.

  7. I think it’s awesome that you found something to keep your mind off of things. I wish I could do that for all of my 2WWs. Good on ya! As for the drunk during IVF, that made me giggle a bit. And I think you have nothing to worry about. With all of the shit we IFers deal with, it’s a miracle that we’re not all raving lunatics or alcoholics. While we all know that it’s not a good coping mechanism, I think we need the escape of alcohol every once in a while to keep our sanity. I’ve never been a big drinker but I have started drinking more in the past 2 years…especially after my BFNs. Sending you love and patience. ❤

  8. You are such a strong woman, going through 2ww without POAS (I could never have the patience for it) & I’m sending you heaps and heaps of baby dust, keeping my fingers crossed all the way to OTD (when is it?) for you!!! KEEP UP THE HOPE!!

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